| | So, wow.
I'm in Alabama now. I will be until sometime in the first couple of days of July. Leaving Indiana behind was a bit harder than I believed it would be. The thought of being gone for a month. Of course, I was happy to get away from the demon children. Now, I can sleep in without being bothered. I can't really hang out with my friends (which I do, amazingly enough, have friends) until I get back. I'm away from everything that is familiar to me. Worst of all, I'm away from my boyfriend. It's only been a week since I left and we miss each other terribly.
We've been able to manage, though. Texting, IMing, web cam, phone calls. We had a problem last night, and well, I'm not going to say what it was. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it, because every time I think of it, it hurts more. I know that he had good intentions, and that he didn't mean to hurt me, but still. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Of course, it makes me extremely jealous. I don't know. I don't know if anyone could ever understand. It just completely took away my confidence and my self-esteem is really low. I just have to keep reminding myself the reasoning behind it, and hopefully, it will go away. If it had been any other guy, I would have dumped him right then and there without a second thought. That was how much it hurt me. But, Ethan is different from any other guy. I'd be lucky to find another guy that's nearly as amazing as he is. Everyone makes mistakes, and I just have to learn to accept it. Hopefully, nothing like it will ever occur again. It was quite amazing, though, that I was able to not let it get the best of me. I did not even want to talk to him. But, I did, and we're quite alright now. I just have to fix things within myself.
More than ever, though, I want to see him. Well, I want to do more than see him. But, those are things that I can't discuss on here, or anywhere for that matter. It's unbelievable that I miss him so much. I won't even see him for about 2 1/2 more weeks. Is it really 2 1/2? Somewhere around there. I counted 3 weeks from last Thursday, sooo. I wish that I could express how much I love this man. I really do. He is the most important thing in my life.
|
| | Posted 6/14/2009 4:21 AM - 10 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
